AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

Many thanks to Suzanne Gautney for these timeless remedies!



1.      AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
2.       AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
3.       FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
4.       A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5.       IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6.       YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.  (To this group I would add parachute cord).
7.       IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT:  (SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

Turtle Rescue

This year I have saved 21 turtles from imminent road squashing.  The rains of the past months may have made them more incline to migrate; either for permanent water or breeding.  Unfortunately they are easy targets for the Texas Redneck (Retardus texensis) and his truck.

Species:


3 Common Snapping Turtles (Chelydra serpentina)

16 Red-earred Sliders (Trachemys scripta elegans)

2 Three-toed Box Turtles (Terrapene carolina triunguis)

Turtle Release:

Wrong Release!

Remember this one?

What a Refuge Biologist Does

The Case of the Missing Cajones

Doobie Jr.  went to the vet to have his cat-manhood sniped.  When I called later for a status I was told he didn't have his teabag to begin with.  Good, I thought, someone did this for me before he went wild on the refuge.  This will save me a couple of hundred bucks.  When I arrived to retrieve him the vet said there appeared to be no signs of a neutering yet he had a penis.  As yet Doobie has not exhibited the signs of a cat on raging hormones although he does give Motorhead grief once in a while.  There's the possibility the testicles are inside him and that would entail cutting him open to dig them out which is like spading and more expensive.  I'm going to wait 2 more months then have a testosterone test preformed to see what's going on.  Figures. 

Prescribe Burn - San Bernard National Wildlife Refuge

Winds gusting up to 20 mph was the only worry for this routine prescribe burn. It was planned for a unit where north winds would carry the fire to wetlands here it would be extinguished. Recent rains had necessitated the use of specialized vehicles which could traverse over most wet soils without bogging down - The Marsh Buggy and Marsh Master. I was assigned to a marsh buggy and ignited the edge of the prairie as we moved along a fire break. When the winds repeatedly blew out my torch I resorted to walking and the inevitable soggy boots.

Spring Yard

There wasn’t a winter this year; the coldest temperature was 35 degrees. Most of my trees dropped their leaves but the Texas Wild Olive (Cordia boissieri) retained its foliage and is now in the process of replacing it with new leaves. In a typical winter that tree would be leafless. The tropical sage (Salvia coccinea) did not die back, thus flowering with the spiderworts in late January. Other plants are emerging early – turk’s caps and wafer ash but the standards are on time – Red Buckeye (Aesculus pavia), Hairy Phacelia (Phacelia hirsute) and Drummond’s Hedge Nettle (Stachy drummondii). I assume the Coneflower (Echinacea angustifolia) and White Honeysuckle (Lonicera albiflora) bloom much later in the Texas Panhandle where I collected them. New flowering additions are the Mexican Plum (Prunus mexicana) and Laurel Cherry (Prunus caroliniana). Neither have an additional tree to cross pollinate at this time so I doubt fruit will appear. Bedstraw (Gallium aparine) is as persistent as ever but an annual and if I can rake the majority of it I won’t have such a nuisance next year. Same goes for Carolina Geranium (Geranium carolinianum). Coral Bean (Erythrina herbacea), Flame Acathus (Anisacanthus quadrifidus) and Beauty Berry (Callicarpa Americana) are just emerging. My lone pecan (Carya illinoiensis) and Button Bush (Cephalanthus occidentalis) won’t have foliage until late March or later.

I put out a bird feeder this “winter”. There’s a pair of resident Eastern Chickadees that get to it between the mass feedings of English Sparrows. Lately I’ve seen a flicker that is not intimidated by the mobbing of grackles. For a while I would fill the feeder every 3 days but the grackles clean it out in a day. My intent for the coral honeysuckles (Lonicera semprevirens) and Cross Vine (Bignonia capreolata) is have them surround a section of the backyard with dense foliage of unobservable privacy and a multitude of flowering for migrating and resident hummingbirds.

Hmmm, guess they had to sex up the new version

Ezekiel 23:19-20 - King James Version

Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot in the land of Egypt.

For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

Ezekiel 23:19-20 - New International Version

Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt.  There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

Creepy Crawly

The Golden Orb Weaver (Nephila clavipes, Lat. clavis — "lock pick" + pedis — "foot") is a species of  golden orb-web spider. It lives in the warmer regions of the Americas. The large size and bright colours of the species make it distinctive. The female is much larger than the male.

It has an abdomen whose dorsal (upper) surface is marked with a multitude of white or pale yellow spots on a gold background.  This specimen has seven pairs of somewhat larger white spots down the median of the dorsal abdomen, with an interesting arrangement of ancillary spots, some white, others black.  

The Conspicuous tufts of black hair adorn the first, second, and fourth legs on each side of the body.  The tufts are positioned at the distal ends of the femur and tibia of each of these legs. While all spiders have at least two claws on the tips of their tarsi (the last segments on the legs) most orb-weavers--including this species--have three claws, consisting of the paired claws and an unpaired, median claw.

In the United States, it ranges throughout the coastal southeast and inland, from North Carolina to Texas. Its distribution in many regions seems localized, and it may be completely absent (or just hard to find) over wide areas. Conversely, in some arboreal or swampy nooks, adults and their webs can be found in large concentrations, especially near the coast. Golden orb-weavers are especially numerous in the time after summer and before fall in the south-eastern and southern U.S. This species is widespread — and often common — in large parts of Central America and warmer regions of South America.

The web of a mature female can reach one meter in width, the yellow threads appearing as a rich gold in sunlight. Males come into the female's web for copulating. After mating the female spins an egg sac on a tree, laying hundreds of eggs in one sac. While it is venomous to humans, it will only bite if pinched, and if doing so, the bite is usually relatively harmless and only leads to slight redness and localized pain.

Source – Wikipedia, http://www.bugsinthenews.com/spiders_in_the_fern_bluff_mud.htm